Family Life

Chapter 5 and 6-Understanding Your Spouse

Lasting Impact 4 years ago 4 min read

Hope all is well. please chapter 6 is also added to the page.

Chapter Five: Understanding your Spouse

This is more or less the most important key in marriage. One of the dangers that can be in marriage is when couples don’t understand one another. It can be a hard place to be.

You can just imagine saying one thing and it’s being interpreted differently. My wife has to consistently remind me that, sometimes the meanings I read into her position on issues are completely wrong.

The need to understand one another cannot be over-emphasized. Please, if you want peace of mind in your marriage, do all you can to understand your spouse. This will solve a lot of your problems.

What are the key factors to consider when it comes to understanding your spouse?

Chapter Five: Understanding your Spouse

Temperaments: This is a big one in marriage. God in his wisdom has wired us differently. Research has revealed that we have four temperaments. The sanguine, the melancholic, the phlegmatic, and the choleric. All these temperaments have their weaknesses and strengths. When you understand this, you will thrive in your marriage. At the end of this book, we will recommend some books that will aid your understanding of this subject.
Your point of view: In most cases, it is your worldview or belief system that influences your point of view. This is why the need to marry the one who agrees with you on the most important issues of life is critical. If your worldview is different, it is obvious that your point of view on issues will be different.

We must also understand that you can have the same worldview and still have disagreements. This tells us that belonging to the same worldview is necessary but is not enough to bring the understanding you need in marriage.

Read: List of 2022 articles and Countries and Countries Reached

Chapter Five: Understanding your Spouse

Always know that until you agree on issues you can’t walk together or work together. This will continually result in strife. This is not the will of God for marriage. Marriage needs Peace to flourish.

Current conditions: If there is something we have learned in about eight years of marriage, it is this: marriage has phases, and conditions do change. Let’s give some practical examples. Do you know that the pregnancy of your wife is a phase in marriage?

This phase brings with it different aspects of the woman. The man during this phase has to be more patient and fore bearing. Every phase needs a particular mindset and attitude.

Background of Your Spouse: The school of marriage is a challenging one especially if your backgrounds are just too different. When this is the case, much work must be done.

When you understand where your spouse is coming from (family, education, status, etc) it influences your perception of her. This is a job you both have to do. This is key to peace at the home.

Lastly, the vital key that fuels understanding in marriage is COMMUNICATION. If you want to understand your marriage, communicate with your spouse. There can never be an agreement until there is understanding and there can never be understanding until you communicate.

Let’s move to the sixth chapter.

Chapter Six: Be mindful of what you say and where you say it, no matter how you feel

We can say without any doubt that the peace you enjoy in marriage is largely dependent on the wise handling of thoughts, words, and actions. These three forces hold a marriage together. When it is not properly handled, the marriage knows no peace.

In this chapter, our focus is on words.

On a few occasions, I realized that I criticized my wife when our children were with us. With time, this attitude of mine made me very uncomfortable, and later my wife also drew my attention to it. I had to apologize.

As a student of family life, I have realized that no matter how you feel, you don’t have to criticize or rebuke your spouse in certain places. No matter how you feel, know that your spouse also has emotions, so if you dissipate your feeling without boundaries, it will have a negative effect on your relationship.

This rule needs to be respected if you want PEACE in your home and family. If this is not done, you stand the chance of making people look down on your spouse. They will not value the words of your spouse and that can be troubling to your marriage.

How will you feel if your spouse gives you stiff and sharp criticism in public and due to that your words don’t matter to the people before whom the criticism was done?

Read: Count your Troubles, Name them One by One and it will surprise you what the Lord has taken you through

Chapter Six: Be mindful of what you say and where you say it, no matter how you feel

Whatever the issue is, there should be a responsible way of addressing it. As it is usually said, “it is easier said than done”. Sitting in the comfort of my study and writing this is the easiest part of this lesson.

The ability to heed this advice when you think you are offended is the difficult aspect of it. Always remember that principles don’t change because of our weaknesses; we rather need to grow up to meet the demands of a life principle.

To conclude this chapter,