What is Condom doing in Daddy’s Car?

“I am not myself this morning.”

“What do you mean, Akwasi? If the hype man is not himself, what will happen to the atmosphere today in the office? Do you mind sharing?”

Akwasi sighed. “Let’s talk at lunch time.”

At lunch, I raised the issue again. Though he didn’t seem interested in talking about it, I pushed him a little to open up. He sighed again.

“You know, when I got home after this Easter break, I noticed a strain in my parents’ relationship. The calmness and serenity were hard to find. I mean, you know my house, you understand what I mean.” I nodded as he continued.

“Though in my presence, my mother acted as if everything was okay, I knew the difference between my real mother and the one I saw whenever I was around her.

“As a young man who has learned to mind his own business, I decided to just stay calm and observe. What bothered me more was that on Sundays, they wore the same type of fabric. At church, you would never notice anything unusual. You know my dad is an elder in our church. Sometimes my dad would hold my mom’s hand after service.

“My brother… It was funny and I was becoming angry at the same time.

“So, on this fateful day, my dad asked me to wash his car. The instruction was that I should only wash the outside of the car. I did my job to the best of my ability. When I finished, as instructed, I suddenly noticed some sand particles on the driver’s seat. That was how I opened the door and cleaned it. I was just about to close the door when I saw a pack in the door pocket. Without hesitation, I opened it and, lo and behold, I saw two packets of condoms in my dad’s car.”

“So what?” I interjected. “Is that the problem? A condom in your dad’s car? He’s a full-grown man.”

“My brother,” he continued, “that’s not the problem. My problem is that I know my mother is fifty and in her menopause. Not only that, but two of the condoms had been used.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

What is Condom doing in Daddy’s Car?

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“One pack contained five pieces, and one had only three pieces. It sounds funny, right? You won’t understand, my friend. I quietly closed the door and left for my room with a gloomy face. Do you know that when my dad finished, he still asked me whether I opened the door?

“What’s he trying to hide? Who is he using the condom with? Why was he asking me that question? A car that I used to drive to the mechanic for him before now.”

The next day, I realized that Akwasi had not gotten over what he told me. He was even moodier and teary at times. I became so concerned that I told him to see me at lunch. We talked generally until I reintroduced the matter again.

I cautioned him not to just assume that the fact he saw a pack of condoms meant his dad was doing something untoward. “If you don’t have the boldness to ask your father directly, then can you cheer up and face your own life? After all, you also have weaknesses that you are dealing with!” I told him.

“See, my friend, you are not in my shoes, so I understand you clearly. I am the one in the middle of this whole thing. Do you know what it means for my mother to finally tell me that she suspects my father is cheating on her? Do you know what it means for my father to keep a straight face as if nothing is happening?

“My friend… the way my parents brought me up is simply antagonistic to what is currently happening in our home.”

“So what do you want to do now?” I asked him.

“I plan on going home this Christmas, and if it continues, I will not confront him but will prayerfully investigate it. Please help intercede for me. My home is on fire.”

What is Condom doing in Daddy’s Car?

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“I have just a couple of pieces of advice for you. Firstly, when two lovebirds (in this case your parents) have a problem, please be mindful of how you interfere so they don’t eventually blame you for their own predicaments.

“Secondly, try as much as possible not to take sides. Right now, it’s obvious you are angry at your father, but to help this particular situation, don’t take sides, or you won’t be able to solve the issue.

“Thirdly, if they agree, involve someone they both honor and respect. Remember, I said if they both agree. This is crucial because it is not about bringing someone only your father or mother will appreciate.

“Lastly, you need to pray for God’s intervention. If your father is not ready for any talks, it will be difficult to go ahead.”

He thanked me, and we left for work.

After the Christmas break, it was obvious that something had changed. Akwasi was a bit more cheerful. We got talking again, and he told me how everything went.

What is Condom  doing in Daddy’s Car?

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Truly, the father was having an affair outside of wedlock. Even though he blamed it on a temptation he couldn’t resist at his office, he took absolute responsibility for it. He confessed to the elderly man who came into the picture that it happened during a period when his wife was consistently nagging him for no obvious reason.

He said though he met often with the lady at hidden places, a real sexual affair happened once between the two of them. According to him, his father, who was a tough man, wept like a baby when the old man confronted him to his face about how bad an example he was setting for his son.

Akwasi also confessed to his father that on that fateful day, he actually opened the car door and saw that two condoms were used. His father explained that because he was afraid of pregnancy, he had to use two at the same time.

As for his mother, Akwasi told me that was where he still needed God’s help because though she said she had forgiven his father, you could tell she still needed time to heal.

“My father has stepped down from his position as an elder so he can put his house in order. I thank God for everything.”

What is Condom doing in Daddy’s Car?

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As we talked, we both reminded ourselves that the mistakes and sins of our fathers are for our learning as young people, so we don’t repeat them. We also spoke about the fact that respecting our fathers should not decrease because of their mistakes.

Akwasi has promised to heed my counsel.

The end

For the love of God, society, and young people.

Blessings, **

Seth Agbeli KUnkpe

Pen From afar…. writing to make things right